daveshumka:

I threw my keys into a cauldron filled with molten steel!
I threw a cactus at a blimp!
I stuck my butt into a geyser just to feel relief!
I brushed my teeth and ate an orange!
I stared into that melty-face ark from Indiana Jones!
I bought some meat out of a van!
I gave my address to a charity!
I ate a bug!
I changed my password to “password”!
I shared a milkshake with a guy who had some open sores!
I let a dude photograph me eating a banana!
I clipped my nails on the bus!
I replied-all to an all-staff email!
I threw a Mentos at a can of Coke!
I sent a pizza to a ghost!
I cut my own bangs in a bumper car!
I gave the middle finger to a shark!
I told my dentist to go nuts!
I tricked a very famous horse into marrying me!
I went to a biker bar and made fun of their beards!
I signed a contract with a cloud!
I gave a weak handshake at a job interview!
I stole a nightstick from a cop!
I went swimming right after eating lunch!
I launched a Roman candle at a bag of snakes!
I barbecued a hat!
I didn’t use my hand to cover my PIN code at the ATM!
Get your votes in for dumbest thing ever written. I don’t care. I love it.

daveshumka:

  • I threw my keys into a cauldron filled with molten steel!
  • I threw a cactus at a blimp!
  • I stuck my butt into a geyser just to feel relief!
  • I brushed my teeth and ate an orange!
  • I stared into that melty-face ark from Indiana Jones!
  • I bought some meat out of a van!
  • I gave my address to a charity!
  • I ate a bug!
  • I changed my password to “password”!
  • I shared a milkshake with a guy who had some open sores!
  • I let a dude photograph me eating a banana!
  • I clipped my nails on the bus!
  • I replied-all to an all-staff email!
  • I threw a Mentos at a can of Coke!
  • I sent a pizza to a ghost!
  • I cut my own bangs in a bumper car!
  • I gave the middle finger to a shark!
  • I told my dentist to go nuts!
  • I tricked a very famous horse into marrying me!
  • I went to a biker bar and made fun of their beards!
  • I signed a contract with a cloud!
  • I gave a weak handshake at a job interview!
  • I stole a nightstick from a cop!
  • I went swimming right after eating lunch!
  • I launched a Roman candle at a bag of snakes!
  • I barbecued a hat!
  • I didn’t use my hand to cover my PIN code at the ATM!

Get your votes in for dumbest thing ever written. I don’t care. I love it.

  1. chesscakee reblogged this from nightanddark
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  3. haystacke reblogged this from daveshumka and added:
    This has been in drafts forever. Still makes me giggle.
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